I still have three boyfriends.
And I can't dump any of them.
Bobby loves me, Francisco loves me, and Dayan is seriously attracted to me.
Tonight, I was hanging with Bobby and we...yeah. So I decided that now would be as good a time as any to break up with Francisco, like you said. Only, he didn't take it well. See, his mom had just kicked him out and he'd been having an overall shitty day when I called him, so he decided that since I, the girl he loved, had just "cheated" on him with her actual boyfriend (go figure), he would off himself. Seems that the thought of me had been what kept him from doing it for weeks now. I refuse to be party to suicide. It's not gonna happen.
So, until I move up to South Carolina (because I have had it up to here with my mom and her bullshit), I have three boyfriends. Shit, I need to get all this down into script format and see if I can sell it as a soap opera, because this is drama with a capital DRAMA.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Sunday, November 2, 2008
I've fucked up again
I have three boyfriends.
No, seriously. I do.
It all started a few months back at Florida Supercon, when I had a threesome (it was just me making out with two guys, honestly, but they think it was a threesome). I ended up dating one of the guys, Nick, for about a month before I got tired of him and his stupid hat. Mainly because I kinda liked the other guy, Bobby. Bobby and I get to talking over the net and on the phone, and we really go crazy over each other.
About a year back, I signed up for this goth site. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but I didn't make any friends, my profile got no hits, and it was just boring. Last month, I get an email from a guy that was on the site, and we start talking. I agree to hang out with him in a neutral place, and start to like him a bit. Not as much as I liked Bobby, but still quite a bit.
This weekend, I went to Anime Supercon and shared a hotel room with 4 other people, Bobby and Nick included. Oddly, it wasn't that awkward. Over the months, we'd been really working each other up, but I knew that my period was coming soon, so I decided to rig up a little test, just to see how serious Bobby was about me. Those of you who lack vaginas may not realize this, but vags get sore when you're about to get your period. Bobby did not know this. So I made out like it hurt every time I had sex. He said that it was okay, that he didn't need sex to be in love with me.
A few hours later, he dumped me in the dealers room.
I was pretty much suicidal for five minutes or so, then I went straight into angry. My room key didn't work (fucking Hilton), so I had to go find either Bobby or Nick. They were together. Nick began rapidly backing away, as if expecting me to slug Bobby or something. Instead, I just demanded the room key, and left. Nick followed me, and Derek, another room mate, did too. They cheered me up, made me laugh, and Nick totally farted into Bobby's pillow. Oh, did I mention that I still had to share a bed with Bobby? Because I did. Anyway, they cheered me up, and Derek went back downstairs. Then Nick and I made out. Or was that Saturday? I think that was Saturday. Yeah, it was, because I called Francisco (internet guy) in a fit of anger and told him that I'd chosen him over Bobby. Not like I had a choice, right?
I didn't really hang out a lot downstairs after 10pm, just ended up wandering from floor to floor and room party to room party until 2am. I wound up on the sixth floor (my room was on the fifth), still depressed and talking to a guy dressed up as a giant beer can. He went into a room, and I just sat outside. Then, this guy comes out and starts discussing Numerology with me. Apparently, I'm a 2, and I am awesome. Dayan (that was his name) and I talked about random crap for three hours, before I went back to the room and lay next to Bobby awkwardly. Then Derek barged into the room with a girl who had a heart condition, gave her his bed, and sandwiched in between me and Bobby. We then spent the next half hour or so cracking jokes until heart condition girl left, Derek and I. He's cool like that. And then came sleep.
Saturday, I was up before everyone else, showered, and gone, and no one woke up. Amazing.
I sold a few books, then went and met Dayan down in Artist’s Alley. He, Rey (his friend and table-partner/roommate), and I decided that we were fucking starving, so Dayan and I went to get some Burger King. Perhaps I should have mentioned before that on Saturday, I was dressed up as Zatanna, with the fishnets and leotard and everything. Whilst in Burger King, we ran into Special K. Woo. But enough about the day. Later that night, I got Dayan to come hang out with me in my room with Nick, Celia, Derek, a chick that Nick had been trying to bed named Rachel, and her friend Taylor. Bobby showed up a little while later, and we had a “no shoes” orgy. You know, like the Virginia state law: when more than 5 people are together in a room without shoes, it is considered an orgy. Later, I went up to Dayan’s room to take a shower. Before that, however, Bobby told me that he needed the room key back, as I still had his. For a guy that had dumped me, he sure was worried about me possibly getting it on with another guy. After I showered and changed, Dayan and I met up with everyone else down at the rave. I’d forgotten just how much I hate loud music, so after swiping the room key from Bobby, I left. With Dayan.
I, um, never really made it back to my room. We watched TV for awhile, and then stuff started getting hot as all hell. He asked me if I’d like to stay in his room for the night, so I ran downstairs to shower (yes, again. Period’s suck, and it didn’t help that he’d gotten me all worked up), grab some clothes for the night and next morning, and ran back upstairs. We fooled around a bit more until his roommate came back and was like “Agh, so sleepy.”. And to top it all off, get this: even if I’d been able to at the time, he wouldn’t have had actual sex with me. Didn’t want to rush things. Um, woo? Anyway, we woke up the next morning, I showered for the ninth time that weekend, we fooled around again, then went down to the con. I sold a boatload of my stuff, cockblocked Bobby several times (I am a spiteful bitch sometimes, it’s true. But the girl was highly uncomfortable with his flirtations and was also 16, so, yeah. Cockblocking was totally necessary), sang karaoke, made out with Dayan again, and then Bobby, Celia, and I packed up Bobby’s car and headed home. I was dropped off first, and here’s where the trouble started.
Of the guys that are currently interested in me (as unbelievable as it is, there seem to be at least six as of now. My mind, she is blown), I am most attached to Bobby. I really believed that I was in love with him, because he had been the first guy since A that made me feel...anything. I was so lost after he dumped me, I sort of became a whore to make up for it. I mean, if a guy had been going on and on for months that he was in love with you and then just suddenly dumps you, how would you feel? Anyway, after I got all my stuff in the house (Celia lives up in Boyton, so I was the first dropped off), I took the time to reveal my little lie to Bobby. The look on his face...I thought he might hit me. See, I’m really not a jealous girl. If I really hadn’t been able to do it with him without pain, I’d have been fine with him going off and getting sex somewhere else, just as long as he told me that he’d done it. The main reason I broke up with Special K was because he cheated on me and then lied about it. I really hate being lied to. Back to the present, though. Once I told Bobby about my little test, he got really quiet. And his eyes...they looked so hurt. It made me feel so, so...
He’d said that he’d broken up with me because of our distance, not because of the sex, and once I saw his eyes...he hadn’t been lying.
When two people are fated to be together, it is said that they are connected by a red string that will bring them together despite all odds. Sunday night, out by his car, I pressed the palms of our hands together, searching desperately for that string. Before, I didn’t even have to look for it to know it was there. I’d feel it whenever we brushed against each other, held hands, kissed...I’d felt it the moment I turned around in Tate’s Comics last Thursday and saw him standing there. Sunday night, it was barely there. I said goodbye, smiled at them both, waved them out of the driveway, then ran inside and sobbed against my front door. I sent him a text as I made dinner, saying that I would always care about him. Later, he sent me one back asking if I could ever forgive him, then another saying that he was wrong. That it didn’t matter how far he lived from me as long as we loved each other. He realized that without me, his heart would always feel broken, that breaking up with me had been the biggest mistake of his life. I asked him if that was how he really felt, or if it was one of those “alone in the dark” revelations. He said that it wasn’t. He said that whenever he was alone, or sad, or had had a shitty day at work, all he had to do was call me up and he’d feel happy again. And that now, he’d never felt so empty in his life. I ironically pointed out that that was exactly how I’d felt pretty much all weekend, and he apologized. Repeatedly. Then he said that he loved me and wanted to keep loving me.
And I said okay.
Because, and you can damn me for a fool, I still love him. The thought of being without him hurts too much to even bear. Sage, you know exactly what I’m going through here, don’t deny it. He means more to me than I could ever believe someone could. He hasn’t even left the state yet, and my heart is already missing him. Yesterday, we hung out at my library, Tate’s, Gameworks, and then my library again. When he first met me at the library, I was watching the ducks. He brought out some bread, and we fed them together. I pushed him away when he tried to kiss me, because I hadn’t completely forgiven him yet, hadn’t even begun to. We sat on the hood of his car and compared childhood camping memories. Then his friend called and asked us if we would meet him at Best Buy so we could all go to Tate’s. Before we left the library, I kissed him. The first step in the road to forgiveness. We got to Best Buy, the three of us played Rock Band, and then we went off to Ryan’s house to grab something of his, went to Tate’s, then headed out to Gameworks. We donned Captain’s robes (from Bleach), and went and played some games. It was fun. After we dropped Ryan off at his house, I reached over to touch Bobby’s hand and something just...clicked. We hadn’t touched much throughout the day, mainly because I wouldn’t get close enough, but now that we had...
We drove past my house and went to the library again, where we made out. They say that if you truly love someone, you can name five things you love about them off the top of your head. We both could. But just to make sure, I grabbed his hand again, pressing our palms together. I almost cried. I told him about how last night, whatever spark we’d had, our string, I’d had to really search to find it. But now, it was back. It was more obvious than ever. Then he wrapped his other hand around mine, and I added my other hand to the pile, and we just sat like that for awhile. As we sat there, he leaned down and kissed all five fingers on my left hand and said, “five fingers, five things we love about each other.”, and smiled. My heart melted just a little bit. I really do love him, more than anything, but what am I supposed to do?
Francisco is my friend, but he also believes himself to be my boyfriend. Dayan is, for lack of better word, my lover, but he is also 29. Bobby may or may not be my soulmate, but he is going into the Marines and may get killed. Each one of them has seen me when I’m most vulnerable, when I let my emotional guard down. Each one of them has touched my heart in a different way. And oddly enough, each one of them has this weird idea in their heads that I need to be taken care of, provided for. Two out of the three have spoken about possible future’s together. All of them are much stronger and more skilled in fighting than I am and have shown the desire to protect me. Then logic should dictate from what I know that they are, essentially, all the same.
So why the hell can’t I choose one?!
The choice should be easy, it really should. Bobby loves me, has cried over having lost me, but he has also hurt me deeply, and I don’t know if he would do it again. Francisco worships me as his “Bat Queen”, and is not afraid to punch me back when I get violent. You have to respect that. He’s also watched half of Across the Universe with me, and seen me cry during the Strawberry Fields Forever sequence. But he’s also rather emotionally unstable and violent towards those he feels invade his personal territory. Dayan is...sexy. He shares many of my interests and sexual kinks, and he’s also very sensitive and sensual. He seems to be attracted by scents, as I found out when I went back to his room after taking a quick shower up in mine. “You smell so nice...”, he’d said, and shuddered in the most delicious way before, well...if you really want the details, you know my number. I can talk about things with him that I can’t even think about saying to Bobby and Francisco, like openly discussing my oral fixation and the possible reason behind it. Dayan is smart and easy to talk to, but he is also much older than me. Eleven years older. But, and god help me for this, I really want him. In a sexual way, in a spiritual way, in an emotional way, I don’t know. All I know is that something in me yearns to be with him, and I’m really tempted to follow that yearning.
Each of my three boyfriend’s have their advantages and their drawbacks. I know that I can’t have all of them, and I don’t really want to have all of them, but I still have no idea what I should do. Should I go with my heart and choose Bobby? Should I stick with convenience and security and choose Francisco? Or should I listen to whatever that thing in me is saying and choose Dayan? I’m so twisted up inside, not even copious amounts of chocolate is helping me de-stress. Help me out here, Sage, you are my only hope.
No, seriously. I do.
It all started a few months back at Florida Supercon, when I had a threesome (it was just me making out with two guys, honestly, but they think it was a threesome). I ended up dating one of the guys, Nick, for about a month before I got tired of him and his stupid hat. Mainly because I kinda liked the other guy, Bobby. Bobby and I get to talking over the net and on the phone, and we really go crazy over each other.
About a year back, I signed up for this goth site. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but I didn't make any friends, my profile got no hits, and it was just boring. Last month, I get an email from a guy that was on the site, and we start talking. I agree to hang out with him in a neutral place, and start to like him a bit. Not as much as I liked Bobby, but still quite a bit.
This weekend, I went to Anime Supercon and shared a hotel room with 4 other people, Bobby and Nick included. Oddly, it wasn't that awkward. Over the months, we'd been really working each other up, but I knew that my period was coming soon, so I decided to rig up a little test, just to see how serious Bobby was about me. Those of you who lack vaginas may not realize this, but vags get sore when you're about to get your period. Bobby did not know this. So I made out like it hurt every time I had sex. He said that it was okay, that he didn't need sex to be in love with me.
A few hours later, he dumped me in the dealers room.
I was pretty much suicidal for five minutes or so, then I went straight into angry. My room key didn't work (fucking Hilton), so I had to go find either Bobby or Nick. They were together. Nick began rapidly backing away, as if expecting me to slug Bobby or something. Instead, I just demanded the room key, and left. Nick followed me, and Derek, another room mate, did too. They cheered me up, made me laugh, and Nick totally farted into Bobby's pillow. Oh, did I mention that I still had to share a bed with Bobby? Because I did. Anyway, they cheered me up, and Derek went back downstairs. Then Nick and I made out. Or was that Saturday? I think that was Saturday. Yeah, it was, because I called Francisco (internet guy) in a fit of anger and told him that I'd chosen him over Bobby. Not like I had a choice, right?
I didn't really hang out a lot downstairs after 10pm, just ended up wandering from floor to floor and room party to room party until 2am. I wound up on the sixth floor (my room was on the fifth), still depressed and talking to a guy dressed up as a giant beer can. He went into a room, and I just sat outside. Then, this guy comes out and starts discussing Numerology with me. Apparently, I'm a 2, and I am awesome. Dayan (that was his name) and I talked about random crap for three hours, before I went back to the room and lay next to Bobby awkwardly. Then Derek barged into the room with a girl who had a heart condition, gave her his bed, and sandwiched in between me and Bobby. We then spent the next half hour or so cracking jokes until heart condition girl left, Derek and I. He's cool like that. And then came sleep.
Saturday, I was up before everyone else, showered, and gone, and no one woke up. Amazing.
I sold a few books, then went and met Dayan down in Artist’s Alley. He, Rey (his friend and table-partner/roommate), and I decided that we were fucking starving, so Dayan and I went to get some Burger King. Perhaps I should have mentioned before that on Saturday, I was dressed up as Zatanna, with the fishnets and leotard and everything. Whilst in Burger King, we ran into Special K. Woo. But enough about the day. Later that night, I got Dayan to come hang out with me in my room with Nick, Celia, Derek, a chick that Nick had been trying to bed named Rachel, and her friend Taylor. Bobby showed up a little while later, and we had a “no shoes” orgy. You know, like the Virginia state law: when more than 5 people are together in a room without shoes, it is considered an orgy. Later, I went up to Dayan’s room to take a shower. Before that, however, Bobby told me that he needed the room key back, as I still had his. For a guy that had dumped me, he sure was worried about me possibly getting it on with another guy. After I showered and changed, Dayan and I met up with everyone else down at the rave. I’d forgotten just how much I hate loud music, so after swiping the room key from Bobby, I left. With Dayan.
I, um, never really made it back to my room. We watched TV for awhile, and then stuff started getting hot as all hell. He asked me if I’d like to stay in his room for the night, so I ran downstairs to shower (yes, again. Period’s suck, and it didn’t help that he’d gotten me all worked up), grab some clothes for the night and next morning, and ran back upstairs. We fooled around a bit more until his roommate came back and was like “Agh, so sleepy.”. And to top it all off, get this: even if I’d been able to at the time, he wouldn’t have had actual sex with me. Didn’t want to rush things. Um, woo? Anyway, we woke up the next morning, I showered for the ninth time that weekend, we fooled around again, then went down to the con. I sold a boatload of my stuff, cockblocked Bobby several times (I am a spiteful bitch sometimes, it’s true. But the girl was highly uncomfortable with his flirtations and was also 16, so, yeah. Cockblocking was totally necessary), sang karaoke, made out with Dayan again, and then Bobby, Celia, and I packed up Bobby’s car and headed home. I was dropped off first, and here’s where the trouble started.
Of the guys that are currently interested in me (as unbelievable as it is, there seem to be at least six as of now. My mind, she is blown), I am most attached to Bobby. I really believed that I was in love with him, because he had been the first guy since A that made me feel...anything. I was so lost after he dumped me, I sort of became a whore to make up for it. I mean, if a guy had been going on and on for months that he was in love with you and then just suddenly dumps you, how would you feel? Anyway, after I got all my stuff in the house (Celia lives up in Boyton, so I was the first dropped off), I took the time to reveal my little lie to Bobby. The look on his face...I thought he might hit me. See, I’m really not a jealous girl. If I really hadn’t been able to do it with him without pain, I’d have been fine with him going off and getting sex somewhere else, just as long as he told me that he’d done it. The main reason I broke up with Special K was because he cheated on me and then lied about it. I really hate being lied to. Back to the present, though. Once I told Bobby about my little test, he got really quiet. And his eyes...they looked so hurt. It made me feel so, so...
He’d said that he’d broken up with me because of our distance, not because of the sex, and once I saw his eyes...he hadn’t been lying.
When two people are fated to be together, it is said that they are connected by a red string that will bring them together despite all odds. Sunday night, out by his car, I pressed the palms of our hands together, searching desperately for that string. Before, I didn’t even have to look for it to know it was there. I’d feel it whenever we brushed against each other, held hands, kissed...I’d felt it the moment I turned around in Tate’s Comics last Thursday and saw him standing there. Sunday night, it was barely there. I said goodbye, smiled at them both, waved them out of the driveway, then ran inside and sobbed against my front door. I sent him a text as I made dinner, saying that I would always care about him. Later, he sent me one back asking if I could ever forgive him, then another saying that he was wrong. That it didn’t matter how far he lived from me as long as we loved each other. He realized that without me, his heart would always feel broken, that breaking up with me had been the biggest mistake of his life. I asked him if that was how he really felt, or if it was one of those “alone in the dark” revelations. He said that it wasn’t. He said that whenever he was alone, or sad, or had had a shitty day at work, all he had to do was call me up and he’d feel happy again. And that now, he’d never felt so empty in his life. I ironically pointed out that that was exactly how I’d felt pretty much all weekend, and he apologized. Repeatedly. Then he said that he loved me and wanted to keep loving me.
And I said okay.
Because, and you can damn me for a fool, I still love him. The thought of being without him hurts too much to even bear. Sage, you know exactly what I’m going through here, don’t deny it. He means more to me than I could ever believe someone could. He hasn’t even left the state yet, and my heart is already missing him. Yesterday, we hung out at my library, Tate’s, Gameworks, and then my library again. When he first met me at the library, I was watching the ducks. He brought out some bread, and we fed them together. I pushed him away when he tried to kiss me, because I hadn’t completely forgiven him yet, hadn’t even begun to. We sat on the hood of his car and compared childhood camping memories. Then his friend called and asked us if we would meet him at Best Buy so we could all go to Tate’s. Before we left the library, I kissed him. The first step in the road to forgiveness. We got to Best Buy, the three of us played Rock Band, and then we went off to Ryan’s house to grab something of his, went to Tate’s, then headed out to Gameworks. We donned Captain’s robes (from Bleach), and went and played some games. It was fun. After we dropped Ryan off at his house, I reached over to touch Bobby’s hand and something just...clicked. We hadn’t touched much throughout the day, mainly because I wouldn’t get close enough, but now that we had...
We drove past my house and went to the library again, where we made out. They say that if you truly love someone, you can name five things you love about them off the top of your head. We both could. But just to make sure, I grabbed his hand again, pressing our palms together. I almost cried. I told him about how last night, whatever spark we’d had, our string, I’d had to really search to find it. But now, it was back. It was more obvious than ever. Then he wrapped his other hand around mine, and I added my other hand to the pile, and we just sat like that for awhile. As we sat there, he leaned down and kissed all five fingers on my left hand and said, “five fingers, five things we love about each other.”, and smiled. My heart melted just a little bit. I really do love him, more than anything, but what am I supposed to do?
Francisco is my friend, but he also believes himself to be my boyfriend. Dayan is, for lack of better word, my lover, but he is also 29. Bobby may or may not be my soulmate, but he is going into the Marines and may get killed. Each one of them has seen me when I’m most vulnerable, when I let my emotional guard down. Each one of them has touched my heart in a different way. And oddly enough, each one of them has this weird idea in their heads that I need to be taken care of, provided for. Two out of the three have spoken about possible future’s together. All of them are much stronger and more skilled in fighting than I am and have shown the desire to protect me. Then logic should dictate from what I know that they are, essentially, all the same.
So why the hell can’t I choose one?!
The choice should be easy, it really should. Bobby loves me, has cried over having lost me, but he has also hurt me deeply, and I don’t know if he would do it again. Francisco worships me as his “Bat Queen”, and is not afraid to punch me back when I get violent. You have to respect that. He’s also watched half of Across the Universe with me, and seen me cry during the Strawberry Fields Forever sequence. But he’s also rather emotionally unstable and violent towards those he feels invade his personal territory. Dayan is...sexy. He shares many of my interests and sexual kinks, and he’s also very sensitive and sensual. He seems to be attracted by scents, as I found out when I went back to his room after taking a quick shower up in mine. “You smell so nice...”, he’d said, and shuddered in the most delicious way before, well...if you really want the details, you know my number. I can talk about things with him that I can’t even think about saying to Bobby and Francisco, like openly discussing my oral fixation and the possible reason behind it. Dayan is smart and easy to talk to, but he is also much older than me. Eleven years older. But, and god help me for this, I really want him. In a sexual way, in a spiritual way, in an emotional way, I don’t know. All I know is that something in me yearns to be with him, and I’m really tempted to follow that yearning.
Each of my three boyfriend’s have their advantages and their drawbacks. I know that I can’t have all of them, and I don’t really want to have all of them, but I still have no idea what I should do. Should I go with my heart and choose Bobby? Should I stick with convenience and security and choose Francisco? Or should I listen to whatever that thing in me is saying and choose Dayan? I’m so twisted up inside, not even copious amounts of chocolate is helping me de-stress. Help me out here, Sage, you are my only hope.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
OMGWTFBBQBLOGGGERS GET PAID ASDFGHJKL
WHEN DID THIS START?!
I'm serious, folks! Look at these stats!
Jason Kottke- $5,300/month
the Fug girls- $6,240/month
The LOLcats- $5,600/month
Overheard in New York- $8,100/month
Perez Hilton - $111,000/month
THAT LAST GUY ALSO HAS A LINE OF PRODUCTS THAT ARE SOLD IN HOT TOPIC AND CLAIRE'S BOUTIQUE. What the fuck, man?! Since when does playing around on the internet constitute as an actual job? I spend at least 60% of my awake time worshipping this ungodly information box, and I don't see a dime! By those figures, I should be at LEAST a millionaire by now! I mean, I'm building a Gaia Online avatar empire! I'm pretty much the Tektek Dream Avatar goddess (I did not coin that phrase, someone else did. About me. Booyah!), so why am I not getting paid?
Then it hit me. My blog is private! I need to go public! Sage, mark your calender. This is the LAST TIME I am posting in a private blog that only one other person ever sees! Dark Spot is closed, bitches! My personal life is about to be blown wide open!
Not that anyone gives a rats ass. I mean, half the time I'm on the 'net, it's at 2 am and I'm in my nightshirt. Plus, I don't really go anywhere. I just go to comic book stores and Barnes and Noble. Sometimes I work for my dad. Blah, anyway, I'm going to start up a new blog under a new account. I'll Myspace you a link as soon as I get it up. Ooer.
I'm serious, folks! Look at these stats!
Jason Kottke- $5,300/month
the Fug girls- $6,240/month
The LOLcats- $5,600/month
Overheard in New York- $8,100/month
Perez Hilton - $111,000/month
THAT LAST GUY ALSO HAS A LINE OF PRODUCTS THAT ARE SOLD IN HOT TOPIC AND CLAIRE'S BOUTIQUE. What the fuck, man?! Since when does playing around on the internet constitute as an actual job? I spend at least 60% of my awake time worshipping this ungodly information box, and I don't see a dime! By those figures, I should be at LEAST a millionaire by now! I mean, I'm building a Gaia Online avatar empire! I'm pretty much the Tektek Dream Avatar goddess (I did not coin that phrase, someone else did. About me. Booyah!), so why am I not getting paid?
Then it hit me. My blog is private! I need to go public! Sage, mark your calender. This is the LAST TIME I am posting in a private blog that only one other person ever sees! Dark Spot is closed, bitches! My personal life is about to be blown wide open!
Not that anyone gives a rats ass. I mean, half the time I'm on the 'net, it's at 2 am and I'm in my nightshirt. Plus, I don't really go anywhere. I just go to comic book stores and Barnes and Noble. Sometimes I work for my dad. Blah, anyway, I'm going to start up a new blog under a new account. I'll Myspace you a link as soon as I get it up. Ooer.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Waaaah! I want to go to Arizona!!!
June 20-22, 2008- Yaoi Jamboree, Glendale, Arizona
Guests of honor: artists le Perrugine, Eiki Eiki, Mikiyo Tsuada, Aoi Futaba, Eiki Eiki, Kurenai Mitsuba; musicians The Slants
...
HOOOOOLY SHHIIIIIIITAKE MUSHROOMS!
Eiki Eiki, Mikiyo Tsuda, in America?! Crod damn it all, I want to go to this con so bad! I could probably convince my folks to let me go up to Metrocon in Tampa by way of Trirail, if I pay for it myself and sneak off without telling them...
July 18-20, 2008 - Metrocon, Tampa, Florida
Guests of honor: actors Scott McNeil, Greg Ayres, Johnny Yong Bosch, Lauren Goodnight; artists Ashley Clark, Doug Smith, costumers Heroes Alliance, Yaya Han; musicians Eyeshine
...this website is not good for my health. Check out what I just found:
September 26-28, 2008 - Tsubasacon, Huntington, West Virginia
Guests of honor: artist Jen Lee Quick; musicians Ultraball
...Jen Lee Quick? At a con? The author of Off*Beat, whom I have been Deviantart stalking for nearly three years, will be in West Virginia? Waaaaaaaaah!
Also, according to Tokyopop.com, My Cat Loki (by the lovely Bettina Kurkoski), Roadsong, and Rhysmyth have second volumes out now. I'm still waiting on third volumes for Sokora Refugees and Off*Beat, and a second volume for My Dead Girlfriend. Maybe a fourth volume for I Luv Halloween.
Ah, well. I'll just email Jen about volume 3 later...
Guests of honor: artists le Perrugine, Eiki Eiki, Mikiyo Tsuada, Aoi Futaba, Eiki Eiki, Kurenai Mitsuba; musicians The Slants
...
HOOOOOLY SHHIIIIIIITAKE MUSHROOMS!
Eiki Eiki, Mikiyo Tsuda, in America?! Crod damn it all, I want to go to this con so bad! I could probably convince my folks to let me go up to Metrocon in Tampa by way of Trirail, if I pay for it myself and sneak off without telling them...
July 18-20, 2008 - Metrocon, Tampa, Florida
Guests of honor: actors Scott McNeil, Greg Ayres, Johnny Yong Bosch, Lauren Goodnight; artists Ashley Clark, Doug Smith, costumers Heroes Alliance, Yaya Han; musicians Eyeshine
...this website is not good for my health. Check out what I just found:
September 26-28, 2008 - Tsubasacon, Huntington, West Virginia
Guests of honor: artist Jen Lee Quick; musicians Ultraball
...Jen Lee Quick? At a con? The author of Off*Beat, whom I have been Deviantart stalking for nearly three years, will be in West Virginia? Waaaaaaaaah!
Also, according to Tokyopop.com, My Cat Loki (by the lovely Bettina Kurkoski), Roadsong, and Rhysmyth have second volumes out now. I'm still waiting on third volumes for Sokora Refugees and Off*Beat, and a second volume for My Dead Girlfriend. Maybe a fourth volume for I Luv Halloween.
Ah, well. I'll just email Jen about volume 3 later...
Monday, April 28, 2008
This morning, I woke up with Stigmata...
No freaking joke. I woke up this morning, rubbed my eyes, and saw that my left hand had a bleeding hole in it. Not a big hole, just a small one, maybe the size of the top of the cap of a pen, about two cm in diameter. It freaked the hell out of me. I checked my other hand, my feet, and my forehead, but all was normal. My left hand just spontaneously decided to start bleeding. I was a bit disappointed, to tell you the truth. I mean, imagine if I was the Antichrist. Just imagine it.
Because, stereotypically, the Antichrist is supposed to be of the male persuasion, born into a deeply Christian/Catholic/Protestant/Whatever family on June 6th, with black hair and eyes and supernatural abilities that make people feel really squicky. I, however, am a blonde, female-type Jewish person with grey eyes who was born in March. And yet, I am bleeding from a spontaneous flesh wound and little Damien has nothing. So haha, little Damien! So far, I am much more of an Antichrist than you are!`I believe my first order of business as the Antichrist will be to dissolve religion. Or I could dissolve Rachel Ray with my apparently acidic blood. Decisions, decisions.
Because, stereotypically, the Antichrist is supposed to be of the male persuasion, born into a deeply Christian/Catholic/Protestant/Whatever family on June 6th, with black hair and eyes and supernatural abilities that make people feel really squicky. I, however, am a blonde, female-type Jewish person with grey eyes who was born in March. And yet, I am bleeding from a spontaneous flesh wound and little Damien has nothing. So haha, little Damien! So far, I am much more of an Antichrist than you are!`I believe my first order of business as the Antichrist will be to dissolve religion. Or I could dissolve Rachel Ray with my apparently acidic blood. Decisions, decisions.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Muahahaha! Success!
I am probably the only person on the planet that can get hurt at a Panic at the Disco concert, I mean really. I twisted my ankle and while it isn't broken, it hurts like billio. But at least I managed to total the ponytail of the blonde teenie bimbo bitch that shoved me over in the first place. It'll be nine in the afternoon before that hair grows in straight again, I'll tell you that. Heh heh heh.
But still, at the end of the night, ~I~ am the one who has the guitar pick that Ryan threw offstage, not blonde teenie bimbo bitch, so HAHAHA. I'm still a bit gutted that I didn't win the guitar, though. I met the girl that won the drum thing, and she's neat.
Also, I must give credit where credit is due and say that my mom is flipping awesome. Teenie's little brunette pallio tried to shove my mega-hippie mom out of the way to get to our spot when I went over to take close-up pics of Ryan, and my mom fought back. She was polite at first, and then she started banging the little bitch on the skull with her sandlewood fan. I'd like to state for the official record that my mom rules, and that I've finally figured out where all my violence comes from. Do not mess with old hippies, as they have been peaceful for many years and are only now letting out their repressed aggression.
I'm gonna go nurse my ankle with some Diet Coke and something unhealthy from our school vending machine now, ta.
But still, at the end of the night, ~I~ am the one who has the guitar pick that Ryan threw offstage, not blonde teenie bimbo bitch, so HAHAHA. I'm still a bit gutted that I didn't win the guitar, though. I met the girl that won the drum thing, and she's neat.
Also, I must give credit where credit is due and say that my mom is flipping awesome. Teenie's little brunette pallio tried to shove my mega-hippie mom out of the way to get to our spot when I went over to take close-up pics of Ryan, and my mom fought back. She was polite at first, and then she started banging the little bitch on the skull with her sandlewood fan. I'd like to state for the official record that my mom rules, and that I've finally figured out where all my violence comes from. Do not mess with old hippies, as they have been peaceful for many years and are only now letting out their repressed aggression.
I'm gonna go nurse my ankle with some Diet Coke and something unhealthy from our school vending machine now, ta.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Sometimes it seems like all I ever do is bitch, bitch, bitch...
Crod, I hate her so much!
Okay, Here's the skinny on this weeks drama: today, I learned that Granther, my great-grandfather (age 99), passed away. As if that didn't already suck, because I'd only ever met him once, (but I thought he was way cool for a guy who liked Limberger cheese, blech!) mom won't let me go to the funeral, even though my Grammy has said she'd pay for my plane ticket, and has actually already bought said ticket.
Also, mom officially hates my grandmother now, which means I must kill her for insubordination. She's pissed that Grammy went ahead and bought the ticket, and swears that I'm not going to the funeral in Pennsylvania, because I would miss two days of school. So what? They're the first two days of the new quarter, and it's very likely that I'd have slept through them anyway.
Screw her, I'm going to find a way to get on that plane if it kills me.
Okay, Here's the skinny on this weeks drama: today, I learned that Granther, my great-grandfather (age 99), passed away. As if that didn't already suck, because I'd only ever met him once, (but I thought he was way cool for a guy who liked Limberger cheese, blech!) mom won't let me go to the funeral, even though my Grammy has said she'd pay for my plane ticket, and has actually already bought said ticket.
Also, mom officially hates my grandmother now, which means I must kill her for insubordination. She's pissed that Grammy went ahead and bought the ticket, and swears that I'm not going to the funeral in Pennsylvania, because I would miss two days of school. So what? They're the first two days of the new quarter, and it's very likely that I'd have slept through them anyway.
Screw her, I'm going to find a way to get on that plane if it kills me.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Meanwhile, over in my head...
I must get that Florida Supercon table! My one chance to snog a redheaded movie star depends on it! May 24th, will be my day of reckoning.
...
You don't seem to be following me here. You even seem kinda...surprised. Oh, did I never mention my desire to have sweaty sex with Oliver Phelps? 'Cause it really is a big ambition of mine, right up there next to getting Brendon Urie and Ryan Ross to make out with each other. I mean, I know that Oli is a twin, but I just don't fancy James as much as I do him. That, and one of my devart friends would skin and gut me if she heard that I got both of them. There is a moral dilemma a face, of course: to gothloli or no to gothloli? I mean, I kinda want to cosplay, and I may be L on Friday, but Saturday and Sunday, I must look hot, and not like a guy. And then there's the question of whether or not Dani will let me sneak away from the table long enough to go to the panels. I may have to beat her viciously so she will comply. Gotta go! Time for another class!
...
You don't seem to be following me here. You even seem kinda...surprised. Oh, did I never mention my desire to have sweaty sex with Oliver Phelps? 'Cause it really is a big ambition of mine, right up there next to getting Brendon Urie and Ryan Ross to make out with each other. I mean, I know that Oli is a twin, but I just don't fancy James as much as I do him. That, and one of my devart friends would skin and gut me if she heard that I got both of them. There is a moral dilemma a face, of course: to gothloli or no to gothloli? I mean, I kinda want to cosplay, and I may be L on Friday, but Saturday and Sunday, I must look hot, and not like a guy. And then there's the question of whether or not Dani will let me sneak away from the table long enough to go to the panels. I may have to beat her viciously so she will comply. Gotta go! Time for another class!
Thursday, March 13, 2008
More with the gay Asians I so love
Ryosuke needs to get his shots or something. Though I must say, I do like the little noises he makes when he's poking Nishikawa in the face. Punyu! Punyu! And of course, when you run around clutching your butt after someone pokes it? Kinda queer. Wait, we're talking about Yamada Ryosuke. We are discussing the group Hey! Say! 7. "Kinda queer" is almost synanimous with these guys at this point, yeah?
http://www.crunchyroll.com/media-139005/Hey-Say-7-Photoshoot.html
And then there's Farenenheit. They're having a test of bravery. How? Why, by kissing each other on national TV, of course!
http://www.crunchyroll.com/media-201346/Fahrenheit-Extras-Kiss-English-Subtitles.html
I swear, these boys amuse and arouse me greatly.
http://www.crunchyroll.com/media-139005/Hey-Say-7-Photoshoot.html
And then there's Farenenheit. They're having a test of bravery. How? Why, by kissing each other on national TV, of course!
http://www.crunchyroll.com/media-201346/Fahrenheit-Extras-Kiss-English-Subtitles.html
I swear, these boys amuse and arouse me greatly.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Now I know the Japanese are just screwing with me
http://wiki.theppn.org/images/9/96/HS7.jpg
Click this link. It's worth it.
See the really cute, really happy boy second from the left? This is Chinen Yuuri. Here's a little bit about him:
Trivia
Chinen Yuuri, is the second smallest member of Hey! Say! JUMP. He joined Johnny's when he was still very young in June 4, 2003. Chinen has known how to dance and do flips since he was 4. He is pretty quiet and not that talkative. Some would say Koyama of NEWS has the highest voice in Johnny, but actually Chinen does. He likes attention and often sits on Hey!Say!Best member's laps. He thinks of himself as more cute than manly because he says that he is pretty small for a middle schooler. He is sensitive and tries to never be seen crying because it is embarrassing to him. Chinen relies on others a little too much; To the point where if every member is gone, he doesn't know what to do. He relies on Daiki Arioka a lot, so he believes he should start being more mature about that. During lunch, he would rather listen to music than pay attention.
OH MY GOD. Call the fire department! We've got us a total flamer!!!! Aw, but he's cute and only about fourteen, so I'll pardon him. But I'm still gonna track this kid. I want to know exactly who he gets drunk and screws around with in a closet when he's sixteen, causing him to completely rethink his sexual standpoint in life and join our other Blatantly Married Pair in JUMP, who you'll meet in a sec.
The guy that's hugging him is named Okamoto Keito, and Chinen himself is hugging Nakajima Yuuto. Oh, Nakajima. You see, the guy directly to his right is his best friend, Yamada Ryosuke, whom he has often publicly stated that he would date if Ryosuke were a girl.
...you're fucking with me, right? I mean, how does someone say something like that- even in jest!- about their best friend? I've got to say, though, I know weirder ways to come out of the closet than admitting you's date your best- male!- friend; such as leaving your porn laying around when it features a Prince Albert gallery.
Trivia about Nakajima:
He can touch his head using his feet.
He has studied Karate.
He considers Yamada Ryosuke as his best friend because they go to school and share secrets together.
He wants to be treated as an ordinary person.
He likes hanging out with his friends.
He is friendly and easy to get along with.
He has stated in various interviews that he would go out with Yamada Ryosuke if he were a girl
He has admited to doting on his little brother, Raiya excessively
Alright, we get it. Nakajima has a humongous hard on for Ryosuke okay enough already. They share secrets together? I know that he's fourteen, but is he also in the possession of a vagina? Do he and Ryo get together and bake? Do each others hair?
God, I bet they do. Don't get me wrong, three people that actually read this blog, I am in no way pointing a finger of shame at this two extremely gay, closeted, famous young men. In fact, I applaud them for being so obliviously blatant about their obvious attraction to one another. Maybe they can double date with Chinen when he outs himself.
Also, if I may direct your attention to this little piece of whatthefuckery:
http://wiki.theppn.org/KinKi_Kids
I think I may actually make an annual awards show for outstandingly gay Asian celebrities, and if I do, the KinKi Kids will have an award named after them. The KinKi Kids Rainbow Award, for outrageously queer clothing choices.
A final link for those who like a well-choreographed act of- oh fuck it. Just go watch this.
http://www.crunchyroll.com/media-147343/Hey-Say-7-DNA.html
Oh, and here's Yuuto and Ryosuke being all cuddly as little kids on live TV. Bottom left. Check it out.
http://www.crunchyroll.com/media-165037/Hey-Say-JUMP-Extras-Hey-Say-JUMP-Introduction-Clip.html
Click this link. It's worth it.
See the really cute, really happy boy second from the left? This is Chinen Yuuri. Here's a little bit about him:
Trivia
Chinen Yuuri, is the second smallest member of Hey! Say! JUMP. He joined Johnny's when he was still very young in June 4, 2003. Chinen has known how to dance and do flips since he was 4. He is pretty quiet and not that talkative. Some would say Koyama of NEWS has the highest voice in Johnny, but actually Chinen does. He likes attention and often sits on Hey!Say!Best member's laps. He thinks of himself as more cute than manly because he says that he is pretty small for a middle schooler. He is sensitive and tries to never be seen crying because it is embarrassing to him. Chinen relies on others a little too much; To the point where if every member is gone, he doesn't know what to do. He relies on Daiki Arioka a lot, so he believes he should start being more mature about that. During lunch, he would rather listen to music than pay attention.
OH MY GOD. Call the fire department! We've got us a total flamer!!!! Aw, but he's cute and only about fourteen, so I'll pardon him. But I'm still gonna track this kid. I want to know exactly who he gets drunk and screws around with in a closet when he's sixteen, causing him to completely rethink his sexual standpoint in life and join our other Blatantly Married Pair in JUMP, who you'll meet in a sec.
The guy that's hugging him is named Okamoto Keito, and Chinen himself is hugging Nakajima Yuuto. Oh, Nakajima. You see, the guy directly to his right is his best friend, Yamada Ryosuke, whom he has often publicly stated that he would date if Ryosuke were a girl.
...you're fucking with me, right? I mean, how does someone say something like that- even in jest!- about their best friend? I've got to say, though, I know weirder ways to come out of the closet than admitting you's date your best- male!- friend; such as leaving your porn laying around when it features a Prince Albert gallery.
Trivia about Nakajima:
He can touch his head using his feet.
He has studied Karate.
He considers Yamada Ryosuke as his best friend because they go to school and share secrets together.
He wants to be treated as an ordinary person.
He likes hanging out with his friends.
He is friendly and easy to get along with.
He has stated in various interviews that he would go out with Yamada Ryosuke if he were a girl
He has admited to doting on his little brother, Raiya excessively
Alright, we get it. Nakajima has a humongous hard on for Ryosuke okay enough already. They share secrets together? I know that he's fourteen, but is he also in the possession of a vagina? Do he and Ryo get together and bake? Do each others hair?
God, I bet they do. Don't get me wrong, three people that actually read this blog, I am in no way pointing a finger of shame at this two extremely gay, closeted, famous young men. In fact, I applaud them for being so obliviously blatant about their obvious attraction to one another. Maybe they can double date with Chinen when he outs himself.
Also, if I may direct your attention to this little piece of whatthefuckery:
http://wiki.theppn.org/KinKi_Kids
I think I may actually make an annual awards show for outstandingly gay Asian celebrities, and if I do, the KinKi Kids will have an award named after them. The KinKi Kids Rainbow Award, for outrageously queer clothing choices.
A final link for those who like a well-choreographed act of- oh fuck it. Just go watch this.
http://www.crunchyroll.com/media-147343/Hey-Say-7-DNA.html
Oh, and here's Yuuto and Ryosuke being all cuddly as little kids on live TV. Bottom left. Check it out.
http://www.crunchyroll.com/media-165037/Hey-Say-JUMP-Extras-Hey-Say-JUMP-Introduction-Clip.html
Monday, March 10, 2008
Let's just hope I never become a cat burglar
I am officially the master of sneaking out!
Parents went to bed, I went to town! Snuck out through the garage, went and made out with Randall for awhile (which was totally hot by the way), snuck back in an hour later with no one the wiser. Well, except for the fact that I think that I may smell like an ashtray, but I like that.
Oh, and Sage? Since you're the only one that reads this, please, as much as I love it when you make nice with your music talk with people, if the person in question happens to be a guy I'm trying to snog, go the sprock away. I beg of you, darlin', I've stopped cockblocking, now it's your turn.
Parents went to bed, I went to town! Snuck out through the garage, went and made out with Randall for awhile (which was totally hot by the way), snuck back in an hour later with no one the wiser. Well, except for the fact that I think that I may smell like an ashtray, but I like that.
Oh, and Sage? Since you're the only one that reads this, please, as much as I love it when you make nice with your music talk with people, if the person in question happens to be a guy I'm trying to snog, go the sprock away. I beg of you, darlin', I've stopped cockblocking, now it's your turn.
Well, apparently, I AM a whore.
Don't ask me how I came about this realization, because I'm damned going to tell you anyway. I was slumming around Chatpit (my usual Sunday night hangout), seeing what kind of mayhem I can cause and checking out the factuality of quantum fetish mechanics (imagine a fetish, and it shall exist), when all of a sudden, the most emo of emo names pops up in the chat list. Not that I can remember what it is now, of course. But it isn't the emo name I'm focusing on, it the person attached to the emo name that I want to discuss.
His name is Randall. He's 19 and visiting Florida from Arkansas so that he can help his mother move. He's totally hot.
We're going to meet on Tuesday, and there is a very good chance that we will have sex.
Don't say a word, Sage, okay? I don't have a boyfriend. I don't have a girlfriend. I have extreme issues when it comes to true intimacy. On top of all that, some lady got murdered close to where I live, and now my folks won't let me walk home anymore. I told you this weekend that I needed some serious stress relief, and I'll be damned if I'm going to pass up a chance I have to get it. Who knows, maybe it was just Kris that made everything so squicky. Besides, check him out:
http://i32.tinypic.com/2wco9bs.jpg
hott, no? And you know I don't use the double-t hot for just anyone. Plus, we talked on msn for almost seven hours. Maybe all I really need is a good shag to get everything back in place, y'know?
But the fact of the matter still remains that I want to meet him, I'm going to meet him, I like him, and that's that. We can't all be part of a nauseatingly adorable couple, okay?
Some of us just need to cut loose and have fun once in a while.
His name is Randall. He's 19 and visiting Florida from Arkansas so that he can help his mother move. He's totally hot.
We're going to meet on Tuesday, and there is a very good chance that we will have sex.
Don't say a word, Sage, okay? I don't have a boyfriend. I don't have a girlfriend. I have extreme issues when it comes to true intimacy. On top of all that, some lady got murdered close to where I live, and now my folks won't let me walk home anymore. I told you this weekend that I needed some serious stress relief, and I'll be damned if I'm going to pass up a chance I have to get it. Who knows, maybe it was just Kris that made everything so squicky. Besides, check him out:
http://i32.tinypic.com/2wco9bs.jpg
hott, no? And you know I don't use the double-t hot for just anyone. Plus, we talked on msn for almost seven hours. Maybe all I really need is a good shag to get everything back in place, y'know?
But the fact of the matter still remains that I want to meet him, I'm going to meet him, I like him, and that's that. We can't all be part of a nauseatingly adorable couple, okay?
Some of us just need to cut loose and have fun once in a while.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Fucking hell, my life has become complicated
Man, I curse a lot lately. But I really need to. I've just learned something important.
Daniel and Kris are the same person with different accents.
Oh my jesus shit no! Didn't I just escape this shit? I wasted a year and a half of my life with that fucktard, I am not going to saddle myself with another one. Augh!
I swear to crod, this guy may be sweet, but he's boring as fuck and obsessed with The Godfather. I hated that movie. Couldn't stay awake throughout it. In fact, every time Daniel starts to mention it, I hang up the phone. And then he just calls back and talks about it some more!!! Augh!
On the upside, last week, I got up in drama and sang my piece. And people liked it. Holy Hera. But I've got to do it again today and next week, and next week is for a grade. I'm so scared, I think I may pee myself.
Oh, and in further good news, I turn eighteen this Friday. I don't know how I feel about that. On one hand, I can vote and drive. On the other hand, I can be drafted, go to actual prison, and I don't want to vote or drive. There's no one worth voting for in the coming election.
In other news, I seem to have rekindled my intense love affair with the Aladdin TV series. Ah, Mozenrath, how could I have forsaken thee? Even with the crapfest that was early nineties animated television, I still loved this show. And now that I have a perverse mind, I have discovered that my dearest Moze seemed to have a really intense need to rape Aladdin, both physically and mentally. In one episode, he had him strung up by the arms and legs in a spread-eagled position in a cave with sticky stuff. I'm not making that up. I don't even need to write slash for this, because the slash just writes itself. I'm done corrupting my own childhood now.
One last thing before I slit my internet's wrists: I think I loved A. I mean, really loved him. I looked at the photostrip thing we took at Sawgrass on our first meeting after the con, and my heart began to hurt. I know, right? My heart began to hurt. Mine. I still remember how anxious I'd been, because I wasn't able to reach him by phone and my mom was still with me because she wanted to meet him and he wasn't there, and then I spot him, just as I was walking past the store I helped shield someone who was putting on a bustier in front of. My heart skipped a little then, and I tried to look mad at him, but then he ran up and he hugged me and I, I,
I'm crying. Right now. In my cooking class. My heart hurts so bad that I honestly think it's going to either explode or pop out of my chest and run screaming out of the room. He was my first love, but he'd rather be a hermit than hang out with me. Even when it was him that first refered to me as his girfriend, after he was the first one to say "I love you", after he admitted that he was in love with me. Sigh, I guess life just isn't meant to be happy, for me at least. People keep asking me what I want for my eighteenth birthday, and I tell them I don't know. But I know, I know exactly what I want. The thing is, no one can get it for me.
I want Andy back. My heart hurts too much, too often, for anything else to be a good gift. He messes with my head and makes me show my emotions, and I can't tell whether I want to hit him or kiss him some times, but I guess that that's just what love is. I hate it. I love it. I hate that I love him so much, even after all the shit he's put me through. I guess I just can't help it.
Because I know that it's love.
Daniel and Kris are the same person with different accents.
Oh my jesus shit no! Didn't I just escape this shit? I wasted a year and a half of my life with that fucktard, I am not going to saddle myself with another one. Augh!
I swear to crod, this guy may be sweet, but he's boring as fuck and obsessed with The Godfather. I hated that movie. Couldn't stay awake throughout it. In fact, every time Daniel starts to mention it, I hang up the phone. And then he just calls back and talks about it some more!!! Augh!
On the upside, last week, I got up in drama and sang my piece. And people liked it. Holy Hera. But I've got to do it again today and next week, and next week is for a grade. I'm so scared, I think I may pee myself.
Oh, and in further good news, I turn eighteen this Friday. I don't know how I feel about that. On one hand, I can vote and drive. On the other hand, I can be drafted, go to actual prison, and I don't want to vote or drive. There's no one worth voting for in the coming election.
In other news, I seem to have rekindled my intense love affair with the Aladdin TV series. Ah, Mozenrath, how could I have forsaken thee? Even with the crapfest that was early nineties animated television, I still loved this show. And now that I have a perverse mind, I have discovered that my dearest Moze seemed to have a really intense need to rape Aladdin, both physically and mentally. In one episode, he had him strung up by the arms and legs in a spread-eagled position in a cave with sticky stuff. I'm not making that up. I don't even need to write slash for this, because the slash just writes itself. I'm done corrupting my own childhood now.
One last thing before I slit my internet's wrists: I think I loved A. I mean, really loved him. I looked at the photostrip thing we took at Sawgrass on our first meeting after the con, and my heart began to hurt. I know, right? My heart began to hurt. Mine. I still remember how anxious I'd been, because I wasn't able to reach him by phone and my mom was still with me because she wanted to meet him and he wasn't there, and then I spot him, just as I was walking past the store I helped shield someone who was putting on a bustier in front of. My heart skipped a little then, and I tried to look mad at him, but then he ran up and he hugged me and I, I,
I'm crying. Right now. In my cooking class. My heart hurts so bad that I honestly think it's going to either explode or pop out of my chest and run screaming out of the room. He was my first love, but he'd rather be a hermit than hang out with me. Even when it was him that first refered to me as his girfriend, after he was the first one to say "I love you", after he admitted that he was in love with me. Sigh, I guess life just isn't meant to be happy, for me at least. People keep asking me what I want for my eighteenth birthday, and I tell them I don't know. But I know, I know exactly what I want. The thing is, no one can get it for me.
I want Andy back. My heart hurts too much, too often, for anything else to be a good gift. He messes with my head and makes me show my emotions, and I can't tell whether I want to hit him or kiss him some times, but I guess that that's just what love is. I hate it. I love it. I hate that I love him so much, even after all the shit he's put me through. I guess I just can't help it.
Because I know that it's love.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Well, fuck
I got fired on Sunday.
On Saturday, I was put on the lemonade making machine. I hate lemons. I expressed this. And so, I was fired.
Or at least, that's the reason that I was given.
I know the real reason is because I went off to the mud pit after work and hung around with Daniel. Apparently, the rougher crowd of medeival enthusisits hang around there. Apparently, I was in some major danger that made me a security liability, and I was fired thusly. God damn it all, I am so pissed off. Well, at least all this anger is good for my writing skills; I've already written one story and added four pages onto my 'con story.
Oh, I almost forgot, I had a Valentine this year! This makes me happy. Daniel gave me a card and a pouch full of these strawberry sucking candies that I mentioned that I was addicted to all of once. I made him a protective amulet, handmade the chain and everything. It's sweet. A didn't even call on Valentines Day, so I've pretty much given up on him and yet...
I don't know why, but I still really care about him. It hurts my heart like crazy and I can't figure out the reason for it. I think I may have really loved him, and you have no idea how much that scares me. In fact, I seem to remember that he was the first one of us to utter the word love, and the first to refer to me as his girlfriend. I miss him. God, I know that when Sage reads this, she'll tell me to get over him and focus on the present and stop acting like Special K, but I really can't help it. I loved him, and it's going to take a while before I'm back to normal.
Ugh, I just remembered something. Five minutes after I was fired, my mom was up and rambling about how I need to get another job. I know this. And then she starts talking about how I'm going to be managing my money: 20% for leisure spending, 50% goes into savings, and 30% goes into our household.
Um, what? No way, man. This is my money we're talking about. I don't mean to be selfish, but it's mine. We live in crap conditions anyway, and this money is being put away so that I can someday afford to move out and rent my own place. And what the hell is up with the 30%? Fuck that. She's not getting any of my money unless I say so.
On Saturday, I was put on the lemonade making machine. I hate lemons. I expressed this. And so, I was fired.
Or at least, that's the reason that I was given.
I know the real reason is because I went off to the mud pit after work and hung around with Daniel. Apparently, the rougher crowd of medeival enthusisits hang around there. Apparently, I was in some major danger that made me a security liability, and I was fired thusly. God damn it all, I am so pissed off. Well, at least all this anger is good for my writing skills; I've already written one story and added four pages onto my 'con story.
Oh, I almost forgot, I had a Valentine this year! This makes me happy. Daniel gave me a card and a pouch full of these strawberry sucking candies that I mentioned that I was addicted to all of once. I made him a protective amulet, handmade the chain and everything. It's sweet. A didn't even call on Valentines Day, so I've pretty much given up on him and yet...
I don't know why, but I still really care about him. It hurts my heart like crazy and I can't figure out the reason for it. I think I may have really loved him, and you have no idea how much that scares me. In fact, I seem to remember that he was the first one of us to utter the word love, and the first to refer to me as his girlfriend. I miss him. God, I know that when Sage reads this, she'll tell me to get over him and focus on the present and stop acting like Special K, but I really can't help it. I loved him, and it's going to take a while before I'm back to normal.
Ugh, I just remembered something. Five minutes after I was fired, my mom was up and rambling about how I need to get another job. I know this. And then she starts talking about how I'm going to be managing my money: 20% for leisure spending, 50% goes into savings, and 30% goes into our household.
Um, what? No way, man. This is my money we're talking about. I don't mean to be selfish, but it's mine. We live in crap conditions anyway, and this money is being put away so that I can someday afford to move out and rent my own place. And what the hell is up with the 30%? Fuck that. She's not getting any of my money unless I say so.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
And a happy Single's Awareness Day to all!
Fuckin' great.
It's today again.
I hate Valentine's Day in more ways than I could possibly list, the foremost of which being that today always reminds me how alone I really am. And I just got word that Sage and Joey have broken up, and he seems to like it that way. Of course, I'm going to have to kill him now in order to restore the honor of my best friend. Perhaps a simple hydrochloric acid enema will do the trick...
Anyhoo, I missed a call from Daniel last night after I conked out in my room. Damned rain, making me all sleepy. It completely messed up my new haircut/dye job. I'm a short haired redhead now, so yay. I love long hair, just not on me. I hope he wasn't trying to call and ask me out, and thinks that I'm ignoring him. But enough about Daniel and all of his problems. This blog is supposed to be about me. I think I'm allowed to get selfish about this sort of thing, don't you?
It's today again.
I hate Valentine's Day in more ways than I could possibly list, the foremost of which being that today always reminds me how alone I really am. And I just got word that Sage and Joey have broken up, and he seems to like it that way. Of course, I'm going to have to kill him now in order to restore the honor of my best friend. Perhaps a simple hydrochloric acid enema will do the trick...
Anyhoo, I missed a call from Daniel last night after I conked out in my room. Damned rain, making me all sleepy. It completely messed up my new haircut/dye job. I'm a short haired redhead now, so yay. I love long hair, just not on me. I hope he wasn't trying to call and ask me out, and thinks that I'm ignoring him. But enough about Daniel and all of his problems. This blog is supposed to be about me. I think I'm allowed to get selfish about this sort of thing, don't you?
Monday, February 11, 2008
Forsooth and lack a day, my feet freaking hurt!
Ow ow, bloody, buggering owwwww!
I love the Renfest as much as the next person, but I'm really beginning to hate water. See, I work with soda and ice, and one of our coolers has a leak in it, so my boots got soaked through two days in a row. On Sunday, I saran-wrapped my feet, put gloves on them, then when neither of those things worked, said fuck it and went barefoot. It wouldn't have been so bad if I didn't have to walk on rocks, but what can you do? Bloody nature.
But I made friends!
My boothmates DJ (Dwayne Junior omgwtfbbqlol), Latoya, Richard, and Lindsey are totally fun. And then there are the rose wenches, Amber (whose catchphrase on Saturday was "Don't look at my vag!") and Cheyenne, the pretzelmen Spencer ("I always wear my kilt the traditional way") and Pine Tree ("Cheapest three holes you ever had!"), the cookie men, the horn girls, Afra, Jonothan the masochist, the wandering hottie, and The Troll. The Troll is neat, and he likes me enough to let me play with the gigantic mallet he carries around. Oh, and the guy that I met once at Sushi Takara that sort of looks like my dad works there too. I'm going to have to learn his name, 'cause he's nice. Also, the guy that walks around in a full sherif's outfit with a Bluetooth in his ear pretending to be security is back! He's actually kinda cool, and he tips every time he buys water.
And then there's Daniel.
I noticed Dan lurking around in a cloak and some eye paint that makes him look like he's in Kiss when I first arrived on Saturday. Late in the afternoon on Sunday, I was in one of those moods that makes me want to go over to scary-looking people and make them look not so scary. So I go up to Dan and start bugging him and we talk and I dance along to the pub sing and holler stuff out so that people will come over and buy things ("Ice cold water! Colder than your wife! Ice cold water!"). Then the pub sing is over and Renfest is done for the day and we're still talking. And then we start discussing musicals, and it all goes downhill from there. Next thing I know, we're hoofing out way through Epiphany from Sweeney Todd as we leave the park and the remaining vendors are looking at us like we're insane and, well, he sort of asked me if I was available.
And I sort of said I was.
Because, I mean, after I was completely stood up by A on Friday, while I really don't want to give up on him, I think we may not be as together as I want us to be. And Dan is really sweet, (he kissed my flipping hand after we waltzed around singing A Little Priest!) even if he is a little kooky. Then again, I'm pretty nuts my own self, so this may be a good thing. But I really, really, really don't want to give up on A because no matter how much of a moron he is sometimes, he understands me. And I still love him a whole lot.
I'm confused.
And my feet really fucking hurt.
I love the Renfest as much as the next person, but I'm really beginning to hate water. See, I work with soda and ice, and one of our coolers has a leak in it, so my boots got soaked through two days in a row. On Sunday, I saran-wrapped my feet, put gloves on them, then when neither of those things worked, said fuck it and went barefoot. It wouldn't have been so bad if I didn't have to walk on rocks, but what can you do? Bloody nature.
But I made friends!
My boothmates DJ (Dwayne Junior omgwtfbbqlol), Latoya, Richard, and Lindsey are totally fun. And then there are the rose wenches, Amber (whose catchphrase on Saturday was "Don't look at my vag!") and Cheyenne, the pretzelmen Spencer ("I always wear my kilt the traditional way") and Pine Tree ("Cheapest three holes you ever had!"), the cookie men, the horn girls, Afra, Jonothan the masochist, the wandering hottie, and The Troll. The Troll is neat, and he likes me enough to let me play with the gigantic mallet he carries around. Oh, and the guy that I met once at Sushi Takara that sort of looks like my dad works there too. I'm going to have to learn his name, 'cause he's nice. Also, the guy that walks around in a full sherif's outfit with a Bluetooth in his ear pretending to be security is back! He's actually kinda cool, and he tips every time he buys water.
And then there's Daniel.
I noticed Dan lurking around in a cloak and some eye paint that makes him look like he's in Kiss when I first arrived on Saturday. Late in the afternoon on Sunday, I was in one of those moods that makes me want to go over to scary-looking people and make them look not so scary. So I go up to Dan and start bugging him and we talk and I dance along to the pub sing and holler stuff out so that people will come over and buy things ("Ice cold water! Colder than your wife! Ice cold water!"). Then the pub sing is over and Renfest is done for the day and we're still talking. And then we start discussing musicals, and it all goes downhill from there. Next thing I know, we're hoofing out way through Epiphany from Sweeney Todd as we leave the park and the remaining vendors are looking at us like we're insane and, well, he sort of asked me if I was available.
And I sort of said I was.
Because, I mean, after I was completely stood up by A on Friday, while I really don't want to give up on him, I think we may not be as together as I want us to be. And Dan is really sweet, (he kissed my flipping hand after we waltzed around singing A Little Priest!) even if he is a little kooky. Then again, I'm pretty nuts my own self, so this may be a good thing. But I really, really, really don't want to give up on A because no matter how much of a moron he is sometimes, he understands me. And I still love him a whole lot.
I'm confused.
And my feet really fucking hurt.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Confustication ahoy!
I think I like girls.
Well, actually, I know I like girls, but I think that with the exception of A, I'm starting to like them exclusively. I don't want to be that cliched, "Quiet girl that years later at the class reunion you see is actually a lesbian", mainly because I know that I'm not completely a lesbian. I'm bi, on a sort of exclusive level, I guess. I mean, I'm exclusively attracted to A (and Jason Momoa, Steven Strait, and Wolf, but they don't count) on the men's side and as for women...well, I'm still trying to find out what my type is. There's a freshman in my Drama class that is completely adorable and I honestly like her, but I refuse to corrupt a freshman.
And then there's the Cassie/Landi factor. I don't know if they're actually going out or if they're just pretending to, but I'd really like to know. That way, I can stop feeling awkward whenever I get glomped/kissed by Cassie. Gosh, I hope I'm accidentally making her cheat on Landi. That would be both weird and oddly gratifying. Oh well, no matter. Maybe this is just a phase I'm going through. I honestly have no idea.
Well, actually, I know I like girls, but I think that with the exception of A, I'm starting to like them exclusively. I don't want to be that cliched, "Quiet girl that years later at the class reunion you see is actually a lesbian", mainly because I know that I'm not completely a lesbian. I'm bi, on a sort of exclusive level, I guess. I mean, I'm exclusively attracted to A (and Jason Momoa, Steven Strait, and Wolf, but they don't count) on the men's side and as for women...well, I'm still trying to find out what my type is. There's a freshman in my Drama class that is completely adorable and I honestly like her, but I refuse to corrupt a freshman.
And then there's the Cassie/Landi factor. I don't know if they're actually going out or if they're just pretending to, but I'd really like to know. That way, I can stop feeling awkward whenever I get glomped/kissed by Cassie. Gosh, I hope I'm accidentally making her cheat on Landi. That would be both weird and oddly gratifying. Oh well, no matter. Maybe this is just a phase I'm going through. I honestly have no idea.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Clearly, I am both a masochist and insane.
I mean, really.
Just last Friday, after not hearing from A since January 10, I decided that I was done with him. So Wednesday, I decided to give his phone one last try before erasing it from my cell for all eternity, and the bloody thing rang. I hung up, of course.
And then he called back.
Granted, he called back at almost 7:30, when I was on my way home from thrift store Renfest shopping with my mom, but he still called. I was busy, so I asked to call him back.
We talked for almost two hours.
I am quite literally gobsmacked. I don't talk to this guy for almost a month, don't see him for over a month, and the next thing I know, we're making plans to meet today at Barnes and Noble.
Unbloodybelieveable.
I mean, I really do care about A, to a point that it actually scares me. When I don't hear from people for a long time, I assume the worst. I'd actually thought A dead until I saw that he still went on Myspace.
But I still love him.
Look, call me a fool or whatever you want, but being able to unawkwardly continue a conversation where you leave off over a month later, well, that's pretty rare in a guy. Hell, that's rare in a girl. My real issue is, though, this sort of thing will probably happen again. A is like me, except where I fake my emotions as to not make people worry, he just doesn't show any at all.
There are three people on this planet that I simply cannot be completely fake around all the time.
He is one of them.
A says that I make him feel confused, and that he really tries to be open with me. He wanted to know if I faked my emotions around him, like I apparently did with everyone else. I couldn't speak very well, as just hearing his voice again had reduced me to tears of relief. I was blubbing whilst on the flipping phone. So I just said no, I didn't. And he believed me.
A told me that he thought that if Sage ever saw him again, she's want to rip his face off. I don't think that's true. I think she'd much prefer to castrate him, not that I said that. I told him that if he approached cautiously with chocolate, she wouldn't attempt to wound him. He asked what kind of chocolate she liked, then wondered why he had. I teased that he liked me enough to try to win me back over through my friends. He didn't dispute it.
I am very happy.
I'm even happy enough to forget that I won't be going to the school-held anime con in Davie, or that I will be working at the Renfest over the weekend of my birthday, and therefore be unable to go anywhere fun like Universal Studios or Pleasure Island. And I still don't know if Sage is having a party for her 18th, so I may not be able to go to Grad Night, either. And I really, really want to go, as I am not going to participate in Senior Skip Day or attend my prom. I just don't see the point in getting all dressed up in clothes I don't want to wear to go and listen to music I don't like with people I don't know. In all truths, I'd much rather attend Sage's prom or go to the beach or something. Maybe spend the night at the bookstore. I don't know, just anything but prom. Mom is being unbearably unreasonable about it, though. She wants to live vicariously through me by dressing me up like a slut and sending me out to cavort around to hideous music.
There is no chance in hell that this shall happen.
Therefore, I must find out if Sage is having a party and if she isn't, I'm getting myself to fucking Grad Night if it kills me.
Just last Friday, after not hearing from A since January 10, I decided that I was done with him. So Wednesday, I decided to give his phone one last try before erasing it from my cell for all eternity, and the bloody thing rang. I hung up, of course.
And then he called back.
Granted, he called back at almost 7:30, when I was on my way home from thrift store Renfest shopping with my mom, but he still called. I was busy, so I asked to call him back.
We talked for almost two hours.
I am quite literally gobsmacked. I don't talk to this guy for almost a month, don't see him for over a month, and the next thing I know, we're making plans to meet today at Barnes and Noble.
Unbloodybelieveable.
I mean, I really do care about A, to a point that it actually scares me. When I don't hear from people for a long time, I assume the worst. I'd actually thought A dead until I saw that he still went on Myspace.
But I still love him.
Look, call me a fool or whatever you want, but being able to unawkwardly continue a conversation where you leave off over a month later, well, that's pretty rare in a guy. Hell, that's rare in a girl. My real issue is, though, this sort of thing will probably happen again. A is like me, except where I fake my emotions as to not make people worry, he just doesn't show any at all.
There are three people on this planet that I simply cannot be completely fake around all the time.
He is one of them.
A says that I make him feel confused, and that he really tries to be open with me. He wanted to know if I faked my emotions around him, like I apparently did with everyone else. I couldn't speak very well, as just hearing his voice again had reduced me to tears of relief. I was blubbing whilst on the flipping phone. So I just said no, I didn't. And he believed me.
A told me that he thought that if Sage ever saw him again, she's want to rip his face off. I don't think that's true. I think she'd much prefer to castrate him, not that I said that. I told him that if he approached cautiously with chocolate, she wouldn't attempt to wound him. He asked what kind of chocolate she liked, then wondered why he had. I teased that he liked me enough to try to win me back over through my friends. He didn't dispute it.
I am very happy.
I'm even happy enough to forget that I won't be going to the school-held anime con in Davie, or that I will be working at the Renfest over the weekend of my birthday, and therefore be unable to go anywhere fun like Universal Studios or Pleasure Island. And I still don't know if Sage is having a party for her 18th, so I may not be able to go to Grad Night, either. And I really, really want to go, as I am not going to participate in Senior Skip Day or attend my prom. I just don't see the point in getting all dressed up in clothes I don't want to wear to go and listen to music I don't like with people I don't know. In all truths, I'd much rather attend Sage's prom or go to the beach or something. Maybe spend the night at the bookstore. I don't know, just anything but prom. Mom is being unbearably unreasonable about it, though. She wants to live vicariously through me by dressing me up like a slut and sending me out to cavort around to hideous music.
There is no chance in hell that this shall happen.
Therefore, I must find out if Sage is having a party and if she isn't, I'm getting myself to fucking Grad Night if it kills me.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Honestly, sometimes I'm the only sane company I have
I've been talking to myself alot, lately.
Strangely, that doesn't bother me as much as I think it should. I mean, I know that I'm at least slightly deranged and that of my many psychological disorders and miscellaneous neuroses, paranoia and lack of true mental backbone reign supreme, but I'd never actually thought of myself of being someone with the right background to warrant schizophrenia. Sure, I had more imaginary friends than real ones for twelve years of my life, and sure they never actually packed up and went off to wherever it is that imaginary friends vanish to when you don't need them anymore, and sure, my ideas and stories sometimes physically manifest themselves in my brain with an urgent need for dialogue, but that doesn't mean I'm schizophrenic, right? No, I'm pretty sure that it just means that I'm one of those run of the mill, court-issued psychos with a lower medication rate than most. If it weren't for all the medication they make you take, I'd love to live in a mental institution. I would rule the entire place. But I hear that nuthouses take away pens and paper, so as long as I walk this lovely little blue-green ball, I'm going to try to stay out of the crazy bin. Shove pills down my throat, I don't care. Make me live with people that make my mother look normal, go for it. But take away all things used for writing?
Oh, fuck you.
Seriously, I need to reign in my little voices and start concentrating more on school. I really need to write my evolution versus creationism thesis paper for english, or I will fail.
Strangely, that doesn't bother me as much as I think it should. I mean, I know that I'm at least slightly deranged and that of my many psychological disorders and miscellaneous neuroses, paranoia and lack of true mental backbone reign supreme, but I'd never actually thought of myself of being someone with the right background to warrant schizophrenia. Sure, I had more imaginary friends than real ones for twelve years of my life, and sure they never actually packed up and went off to wherever it is that imaginary friends vanish to when you don't need them anymore, and sure, my ideas and stories sometimes physically manifest themselves in my brain with an urgent need for dialogue, but that doesn't mean I'm schizophrenic, right? No, I'm pretty sure that it just means that I'm one of those run of the mill, court-issued psychos with a lower medication rate than most. If it weren't for all the medication they make you take, I'd love to live in a mental institution. I would rule the entire place. But I hear that nuthouses take away pens and paper, so as long as I walk this lovely little blue-green ball, I'm going to try to stay out of the crazy bin. Shove pills down my throat, I don't care. Make me live with people that make my mother look normal, go for it. But take away all things used for writing?
Oh, fuck you.
Seriously, I need to reign in my little voices and start concentrating more on school. I really need to write my evolution versus creationism thesis paper for english, or I will fail.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Why should I worry? I have street savoire faire
Yeah, I'm worried.
About a relationship, of all things.
It's insane; two months ago, I'd never even met A. Now, he's nearly all I ever think about. I'm slowly coming out of my responds with violence, never acts like a girl mentality (though I'm nowhere near the stage when I start looking at makeup as if it were a good idea) and embracing the fact that yeah, I don't look like total crap in a skirt. And yet, I fear that its too late.
I really don't think A likes me that much anymore. I mean, its always up to me to call him if I want to talk or hang out, we spend as much time together as Bush and Cheney who are, as required by Constitutional law, never in the same state, and while I know that he was off looking for his friends that were supposed to be there, it still hurt that A totally ditched me at Librarations this weekend. I don't want to have to break up with him, but I'd really prefer to do it before its done to me. I'm on a pretty good never-been-dumped streak and damnit, I refuse to let it be broken by the one guy I might actually cry over. Really cry, not just make a little crying emoticon. In the real world.
Another thing that worries me: I am very turned on by one of the guys on American Gladiator. No, not that adorable Asian contestant who is ever-so wiley, but Wolf, one of the gladiators. Maybe its the wolf-calls, maybe its the hair, maybe its the fact that he's the only one that doesn't seem to be on steroids. I'm not quite sure what it is, but all I know is that for some reason, he totally makes my engines go VRUM vrum vrum vrum. Heh, sorry. I really didn't mean to be that crude. And I really hope I didn't just coin a phrase or something. But, ahem, yes, I am having relationship problems. Erk!
I am going to shut my eyes and when I open them once more, there will NOT be a picture of Don "Wolf" Yates on my desktop background. Because I didn't put it there. The Powers That Be are obviously at work again, screwing with my delicate hormones.
Damnit. That's my story and I'm damned well sticking to it.
About a relationship, of all things.
It's insane; two months ago, I'd never even met A. Now, he's nearly all I ever think about. I'm slowly coming out of my responds with violence, never acts like a girl mentality (though I'm nowhere near the stage when I start looking at makeup as if it were a good idea) and embracing the fact that yeah, I don't look like total crap in a skirt. And yet, I fear that its too late.
I really don't think A likes me that much anymore. I mean, its always up to me to call him if I want to talk or hang out, we spend as much time together as Bush and Cheney who are, as required by Constitutional law, never in the same state, and while I know that he was off looking for his friends that were supposed to be there, it still hurt that A totally ditched me at Librarations this weekend. I don't want to have to break up with him, but I'd really prefer to do it before its done to me. I'm on a pretty good never-been-dumped streak and damnit, I refuse to let it be broken by the one guy I might actually cry over. Really cry, not just make a little crying emoticon. In the real world.
Another thing that worries me: I am very turned on by one of the guys on American Gladiator. No, not that adorable Asian contestant who is ever-so wiley, but Wolf, one of the gladiators. Maybe its the wolf-calls, maybe its the hair, maybe its the fact that he's the only one that doesn't seem to be on steroids. I'm not quite sure what it is, but all I know is that for some reason, he totally makes my engines go VRUM vrum vrum vrum. Heh, sorry. I really didn't mean to be that crude. And I really hope I didn't just coin a phrase or something. But, ahem, yes, I am having relationship problems. Erk!
I am going to shut my eyes and when I open them once more, there will NOT be a picture of Don "Wolf" Yates on my desktop background. Because I didn't put it there. The Powers That Be are obviously at work again, screwing with my delicate hormones.
Damnit. That's my story and I'm damned well sticking to it.
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